Kerry

Kerry continued to express an interest in music. I had given him some piano lessons, with a little bit of organ thrown in, during August and September, but in October (as one of his birthday gifts, I told him), I sent him to piano lessons with a friend of mine, Marcia Andrews, who was an outstanding piano teacher. I continued to work with him a little bit on the organ. Marcia told me he was very bright and was progressing rapidly. I knew that his organ playing was becoming much smoother, and he was starting to play hymns on the organ very well.

He also regularly accompanied me to choir rehearsals and seemed to be learning quite a bit there as well. As usual, the church choir planned special music for the Sunday after Thanksgiving, and we usually had our practices on Wednesday evenings. Kerry did not sing in the choir, or even in the youth choir (he claimed he didn't have enough time), but I noticed that he was singing some of the choir's anthems under his breath during rehearsals. I decided not to press the issue of his joining a choir. He also assisted me at the organ, turning pages and occasionally changing a registration for me. He was a big help.

This year, the music for Thanksgiving had been going so well with the choir that I cancelled Wednesday's choir practice so the choir could get an early start on their holiday. At least that's what I told them. I left the church early Wednesday afternoon so that I could meet Joe's plane. I hadn't seen him in almost five months, and he had been unable to come to Kerry's and my birthday celebration. I'll admit I was excited to see him. 

I got to the airport about a half hour before his plane arrived. He was among the first to come down the jetway to the arrival lounge, and he came directly to me with outstretched arms. "Hi, Dad, long time, no see!"

Joe was by far the tallest member of our family. He stood 6'5" and weighed about 240 lbs, solid muscle. His hair was darkish blond, almost a light brown, which he wore in a crew cut, and his eyes were hazel. You could see with one eye he was a born athlete. During high school, he had played center on the basketball team, and they had won the regional tournament his junior year. They almost repeated during his senior year, but Joe had been ill during one of the playoff games, and his team lost by three points. I had had a tough time consoling Joe after that tournament. He felt as if he had let the team down. Although he came through it well, I always knew that he would never get over it completely. He was a devoted team player in everything he did, and he always gave it all he had. I still believe that, except for the tragic death of his mother, losing that tournament had been the low point of his life up until now.

Although he had never failed a course, Joe had been a mediocre student in school, but he enjoyed working with his hands and he was very talented as a woodworker. In fact, he had made the desk I used at my home office, and I had received a number of inquiries wanting to know where I had gotten it. After working as an automobile mechanic for three years, he had decided he wanted to be an engineer. He started at a community college and had to work doubly hard because of some deficiencies in his high school record, but he later transferred to Auburn University and received his master's degree in mechanical engineering in only seven years. He worked for a national manufacturing company out of Philadelphia, but spent a lot of his time traveling.

"Hello, Son," I answered, returning his hug. "It's good to see you. Did you have a good flight?"

"Sure did, as usual. I just hope my baggage got here with me."

"Baggage? I thought you had to go back tomorrow."

"No, I don't. If it's all right with you, I am going to stay until Sunday afternoon. I have a 4:00 p.m. flight to Baltimore then."

"Sure, it's all right with me. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, I understand your house is a little bit fuller than it usually is," retorted Joe. "I can't wait to meet my new brother. How is he doing?"

"Great. He should be getting home from school about the time we get home."

"I gotta tell you, Dad, I don't have to meet him to know I'm going to love him. I have spoken with both Darrell and Roy, and they couldn't be happier about him, but the clincher is, I haven't seen that glow in your face for a long, long time. It looks good on you."

"It's that obvious, then?" I asked.

"It's more than obvious. You might as well carry a neon sign."

Joe and I made our way to the baggage claim area and retrieved his baggage, then started for home. On the way home, Joe asked if Kerry needed anything in particular - he wanted to get him a gift before he saw him.

"I can't think of anything he really needs, especially," I answered. "You never had any trouble picking out a gift for anyone, as I remember, but you both might enjoy it more if you just took Kerry shopping with you and let him guide you. You could get to know him better as well."

"I might just do that, Dad, but I would like to get him some little something as a get-acquainted gift. Could we stop at Menard's for a second?"

"Sure."

Joe went into Menard's and got a stuffed dog for Kerry, then we headed for home again. Joe put his suitcase in the third bedroom and was in the bathroom when Kerry arrived home from school. After putting his books away in his room, he came into the kitchen where I was.

"Hi, Dad," he greeted, giving me his usual hug. "Why are you home so early?"

"I just brought Joe home from the airport."

"Oh," he said excitedly. "Where is he?"

"Right behind you." 

Kerry turned around and met Joe for the first time. He extended his hand to Joe and said, "Nice to meet you, Joe."

"That's not going to cut it, little brother," teased Joe, picking him up and spinning him around over his head. He brought him down and gave him a big hug, with Kerry giggling the whole time. Afterward, Joe held him back to look at him. "Has Dad been treating you well? Looks like you haven't been missing any meals lately," he said, thumping him lightly in the stomach and getting more giggles.

"Sure, he has," Kerry answered, smiling broadly. "He's the greatest!"

"I've known that longer than you have," answered Joe, rubbing his knuckles lightly on Kerry's head, with Kerry giggling as usual. He put him down and said, "I brought you a new friend," and handed him the stuffed dog.

"Gee, thanks, Joe. He's great!" He reached up and threw his arms around Joe's neck, and Joe beamed with a big smile.

"What are you going to name him?" Joe asked.

After thinking a few moments, he replied, "I think 'Sparkle' would be a good name. Do you like that?"

"That's a fine name, Kerry. It fits him well."

Joe and I went into the living room and sat down to talk, while Kerry went to his room to hang up his jacket and put his new dog on the bed. He came into the living room and asked, "Dad, is it all right if I get a Coke? I feel a little thirsty."

"Yes, that's OK, Kerry. If you don't mind, bring me a Diet Coke, and see if Joe wants anything."

"No, nothing for me," answered Joe. "I had plenty to drink on the plane."

Kerry disappeared to get the drinks, and Joe began the conversation. "Dad, I need to ask your advice on something."

"Okay, what is it, Son?"

"Well, as you know, Lynn and I broke up a couple of months ago. It was her idea, and it wasn't nasty, she just felt that she wanted more than I was capable of giving at the time. I wasn't able to convince her otherwise."

"Yes, I remember your telling me about it. Are you taking it well?"

"As well as I can, I guess. But last week, she told me she is pregnant, and she thinks the child is mine. She wants to get back together again, and I don't really know what to do."

"Well, I have a hard question to ask you, then. Forget the child for a moment and tell me, if she were not pregnant, would you want to get back with her?"

"Dad, I didn't want her to leave in the first place. Yes, I would like to get back with her, but I don't know if I can fully commit to her right now. I was almost ready to propose marriage to her, but when she wanted to break up, that was quite a blow, and I'll admit it hurt. I guess I am worried that if she did it once, it might be easier for her to do it again. I don't want to have my heart broken again."

"Son, I hate to tell you this, but that would be a possibility even if she hadn't broken up with you before. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. I've seen marriages of thirty and forty years or more break up over what seemed to be very small issues. There are no guarantees in life."

"I know, Dad. That's why I am discussing this with you. I've never faced this situation before."

"Neither have I, thank God," I answered. "Joe, I know this is another hard question, but I have to ask it. You said that Lynn 'thinks' this child is yours. Since you haven't denied it to me, I assume that there is a possibility that you are indeed the father. I'm not going to preach to you about the morality of the situation because you are plenty mature enough to know that for yourself. But, Joe, do you think there is any possibility that you are not the father?"

"I don't think so, Dad. Lynn and I were together for over two years, and I don't believe she saw anyone else during that time. I am not absolutely sure, but I don't think so."

"Well, Joe, since you asked, I'll give you several things to think about. First of all, if you want to get back with Lynn, then do so, but don't let the fact that she is pregnant rush you into marriage. You've known her for over two years and you thought you had a good relationship, but you found out she wasn't happy, and you got your heart broken. Right now, you need to assess your real feelings for her NOW, and what her real feelings are for you NOW. Yes, she may genuinely want to get back with you because she realizes, after all, that she does love you. But she may have other reasons which may not be in your best interest. And face it, Joe, by your own admission you don't know yourself if you really want to get with her now. You may be hurting more than you realize, and you may be thinking that getting back with her will lessen your own pain. You have to make an entirely new assessment of the way things are now, and you need time to do it."

"Are you saying I shouldn't consider marriage?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, Joe. All I said was, you have to make an entirely new assessment of the way things are now. If after you find out how you both feel you find that marriage is what you both want and you are both willing to work at it, fine, no one will be happier for you than I will be. But just remember that a child on the way is the worst reason in the world to get married. You have to have a firm foundation in love and respect for each other, and for God, to make a marriage work. If you don't have that, then all the children in the world won't make your marriage last, and I know for sure that you don't want to put yourself and your child through the turmoil that a divorce would create. You owe it to yourself, you owe it to Lynn, and you owe it to the child to be as sure as you can that marriage is right for you before you commit yourself."

"Well, you are right there. I've already been hurt enough. But if there is a baby involved now, I want to be a good father, like you were to me."

"Well, Joe, that leads me to my second bit of advice. If there is even a remote possibility that you are not the father of this child, then I would strongly advise you to get a paternity test after the baby is born to determine for sure whether or not you are. Believe it or not, this is not only for your protection, it is also best for the child. Lynn may be upset at your request - if she is, then I can almost guarantee you that marriage is not a possibility. You can explain to her that if the test indicates you are the father, then you will accept the responsibility and support the child to the best of your ability. Even if the test proves you are not the father, you can, if you wish, accept the responsibility and get yourself declared the legal father. But think of it this way - you both owe it to the child to know for sure. If, God forbid, the child were to have medical problems, you will need to know the medical history of the biological father, not just the one who stepped up to the plate. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Dad, you have a good point."

"I know I do. And the third bit of advice, and the most important one is, whatever you decide about marriage, or even getting back with Lynn now, be as congenial, as friendly, and as supportive as you can with her. If she has the baby and the child is indeed yours, then married or not, you are going to have a connection with her for at least the next almost twenty years. You are going to have to work with her and make decisions with her for the welfare and support of the child. You are both going to share in the significant events in the child's life. That is much, much easier if you have a good, congenial relationship with the mother. I know you would support and love your child to the best of your ability, no matter what. And although it would be easier if you could approach that from the foundation of a good and loving marriage with Lynn, if that proves to be a viable possibility, you can be a good father even if you can't be Lynn's husband. But you must be congenial with her - you'll have major problems if you don't."

"That's tough to do, Dad. It was quite a blow when Lynn decided to break up with me, and even though I still have some strong feelings for her, I'll admit that I am still hurt."

"I know, Son. Your feelings are a little shaky now, and what I have been trying to tell you is that you can't afford to make any decisions about marriage unless and until you are on a solid foundation that you know will last. Yes, I know that you can't ever be 100% sure, but you certainly don't want to feel shaky making that kind of a decision."

"You're right, Dad, and thanks."

"You're welcome." 

Kerry came back in with our drinks and sat in my lap. I tossed his hair and tickled his ribs a little bit, and he lay back against me, as he usually did.

"Dad, I wish you could see yourself and Kerry together. Roy and Darrell and I had a few conversations about you before your birthdays last month, and I was a little concerned. I think they were as well, but there is no doubt in my mind after seeing you that you belong together."

"Well, I am very happy, Son. I hope Kerry is as well."

"You know I am, Dad. I just can't wait until it's permanent."

"Well, as far as I know, it should be completed by early January."

Just then the phone rang, and I answered it. It was Roy, telling me that he and his family were about an hour away, and asking if we needed him to stop and get anything to bring. I told him no, everything was fine, and we couldn't wait to see them. Darrell was due to arrive on the 8:15 flight from Los Angeles. I hung up the phone.

"Dad, do you realize that this Thanksgiving will be the first time we will all be together as a family since Mom's funeral?"

"Yes, I know. I was just thinking about that this morning. I still miss her, Son, but the tears are getting fewer and farther between nowadays. I know she's happy in heaven, and I'll probably see her again before too long, but I'm happy here now, too."

"Don't talk like that, Daddy," admonished Kerry. "It scares me."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm all right, at least as far as I know, and I plan to see the grandchildren I get from you before I go. But even if I don't, you'll be well taken care of."

"I know, but I want you there for my fiftieth birthday."

Joe and I both laughed. "I'll try, sweetheart," I said, "but remember that most men don't live to the age of 98."

"Most men don't have me to take care of them, either," retorted Kerry.

"I know. You never can tell - I just might make it at that! But enough of this. How was school today?"

"Great! I made a 98 on my history test, and the basketball coach says I am learning fast. He thinks I can make the squad next year."

"Hey, that's fantastic, but why can't you make it this year?"

"Because I am in the fifth grade, and you have to be at least in sixth to make the team. All of the players this year are in the seventh and eighth grades."

"Oh. Well, just keep up the good work. That 98 in history sounds good - almost good enough to merit pizza for dinner tonight.

"Almost?" he queried, looking somewhat surprised.

"You haven't told me that you wanted it yet," I answered.

"You know I always do. Can we order pizza tonight?"

"Yes, but we'll have to wait until Roy and his family get here. And don't forget that tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day, and you will have to save some room for the turkey."

"No problem."

Roy and his family arrived, and I thought it was very cute that Dawn and Marie headed straight for their "Uncle Kerry." He was so proud he was just radiant. Roy and Doris greeted Joe and me with the usual hugs. Roy and Joe got into a conversation about a business deal that Joe was working on. Doris caught me up on the girls' activities and their school work. Dawn had been named "outstanding fifth grade scholar" at her school, and Marie had won a county-wide art contest in her age group for best painting. She also showed me some pictures she had taken at the Halloween party at her church. Dawn went as "Bat Woman" and Marie went as a princess - both of their costumes were just darling, and Doris reported that both of them had a wonderful time. 

"Just on that thought, what did you and Kerry do for Halloween? We didn't hear much from you this year."

"Kerry was planning to go trick-or-treating with a few of his friends, but he really didn't feel well that night, so we just had some of his friends over for a party after they were finished. Fred McGill, my next-door neighbor, brought his grandson over, and Fred and I inspected the candy they brought, and everything was fine. We had the house decorated as a haunted mansion, and the kids seemed to really enjoy a good time. You'll have to listen to a CD I found for Halloween. It really enhanced the party."

"I've heard some of those before. You're right - the kids seem to adore them."

"I'd have to say I enjoyed it, too. This was the first Halloween party I have had at my house since the boys were young. It was nice to hear all the laughter, and Kerry really enjoyed it. He says he wants to do it again next year instead of trick-or-treating."

"That's probably a good idea," she answered, with a rather serious look on her face. She didn't mention it, but both of us remembered Halloween four years ago when a little six-year-old boy who lived across the street from them was killed by poisoned Halloween candy. She had not allowed the girls to trick-or-treat since then. I had met the little boy who was killed, and although I didn't know him well, I was devastated when it happened, too. He was a nice, blonde-headed boy with emerald green eyes and a ready smile, and I could still remember how Dawn had called him her boyfriend. It angered me that anyone could even think of harming a child like that. The guy who did it had been caught quickly, and had admitted it. I wasn't sure whether he was still in prison or had already been executed, but that was one guy who deserved his death sentence. The bastard.

We continued the polite conversation until Dawn and Marie bounded into the room, followed by Kerry. They both ran up to me and Marie said, "Uncle Kerry says you are going to order a pizza tonight. Are you?"

"Is that what you want?" I asked.

"YES!" all three kids yelled at once.

"Okay. Kerry, why don't you find out what everyone wants and phone in the order. Let me know how much it will be so I can give you the money."

"Okay, Dad," he answered. Dawn and Marie excitedly told him what they wanted, and what their parents would want, and of course he knew what he and I usually ordered. He verified with Roy and Doris, and asked Joe for his preference, then came back to me. "Looks like we need at least three, and maybe four larges: one supreme, one pepperoni, and probably two sausage and mushroom."

"Okay, just call it in."

Kerry went into the kitchen to phone in the order, and the girls followed him. A couple of minutes later, he returned and told me, "Dad, the total charge is $36.40. Is that OK?"

"Yes, that's fine," I said. I took two twenties from my wallet and gave them to Kerry. "Just tell the delivery man to keep the change."

All of us enjoyed the pizza before it was time to meet Darrell's plane. The kids wanted to stay and play some more video games, so it was agreed that Joe and Roy would meet the plane, while I stayed home with the kids. Doris wanted to visit an old friend of hers from school, and said she would be back in a couple of hours. 

It was almost 10:00 p.m. before the boys got back from the airport, and Doris arrived about ten minutes later. The kids had enjoyed playing their video games, as apparent from their giggles and laughter I heard from Kerry's room, and I had just relaxed and watched TV. Darrell was still running on Los Angeles time when he arrived, so he wasn't ready for bed, but everyone else was. It had been a full day.

Doris was the first to inquire about sleeping arrangements. "Dad," she asked, "since we have Kerry now, our usual sleeping places probably won't work. Have you thought about where we all should be?"

"Well, let me see," I answered, and called Kerry from his room. When he arrived, I asked him, "Son, we are trying to arrange where everyone will sleep. I was wondering if there would be enough room for either Joe or Darrell in your room."

"Have you forgotten about the roll-away bed in the garage?" he answered. "Why don't you have Roy and Doris in the guest room, and Dawn and Marie can sleep in the third bedroom. We can move the roll-away into my room so Darrell and Joe can sleep in there, and if you don't mind, I'll sleep with you."

"Sounds OK to me," I answered. "Does anyone have any problem with that arrangement?"

No one did. Kerry and Joe went to the garage to get the roll-away bed, and I got some fresh linens out of the closet. All of us got ready for bed, except Darrell wanted to stay up and read a while before turning in. After Kerry got undressed, he put on his bathrobe and went into his room to get his new stuffed dog, which thrilled Joe and made me smile. But as usual, when the lights went out, I felt his head seek out my shoulder, and his arm draped across my chest. "Good night, Dad, I love you," he said.

"Good night, Kerry. I love you more."

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