The story takes place in Ireland, my homeland. Some words and uses of words may be unfamiliar. I'll list them below and explain them as best as I can.
Manky: This means dirty or unpleasant.
Scabby:(of a person or object) loathsome; despicable.
Banter: Playful and Teasing Conversation.
Craic: Joking, Horsing About.
Sound: Okay, pleasant company.
Boot: The trunk of a car.
OMG: “OH MY GOD”
Entry One: All Work, No Play
As they say, love is blind. I can tell you now that, that is not true. Love is a cesspit of endless struggles and confusions, hence why it is called love. Infatuation is blind, it is short and sweet but then you move on. It all started one blissful summer I turned fourteen. The year I shared my first kiss, and the year I shared my first sexual experience with another boy. I guess you could say I was a bit on the isolated side since I lived in the middle of the countryside, but that's another story for another day. In the summer of 1991, yes, the intrepid year of Sonic the Hedgehog, or Terminator 2 and that blasphemes depressing song everything I do, I do it for you. I found my first love; with the boy, next door. The boy came to stay with his grandparents while his parents were away for a short business trip in England. He came and stead in the house next door and the two of us sort of became friends, and things progressed from there. I must warn though, if you're still reading this then you’re reading my diary, which has been long left settled in the bottom of a box in my attic in London. Pushing forty now I can say, I am settled; married and have two children.
Twenty-five years; that's a lifetime ago. I wonder where he is, and how he turned out, he was a real inspiration and a true friend.
So, let me tell you the story; about the year I fell in love with a boy, which could only happen once. Because, As They Say, love is involuntary; And only memories remain.
2nd May 1991:
I don’t know why Eli is such a dick; that was such a downlow thing to do, I mean I didn’t punch that weird kid from town.
Why can't my mam just accept the facts, her son is not guilty all the time? Another topic worth talking about is that downright manky smell that farmers are spraying all over the fields. They have no consideration for people like me who have a sense of smell. Anyway, I haven’t got much else to talk about today so I’ll just leave it there.
3rd May 1991:
That cold and callous alarm clock has no mercy on your soul, why is early mornings even a thing. It’s not like I’m in a hurry to go anywhere; I’m on summer holidays. Thank god for summer, I’m not sure who invented it but I’m happy that Ireland gets them.
Did I mention I'm Irish; of course not, well now you know. So, I guess this is a diary six, I know what you're thinking, what happened to the other five. In truth, I think they're downright embarrassing; maybe in the future, I'll clue you in on my life after this journal, but as far as the previous five go, forget it. I was like super dumb and too little to understand half of the stuff I had written about. Not to mention my scabby handwriting. So, in case anyone were to ever find this book on a desert island like you see in all those pirate movies, I want the reader to at least even to know my name. I'm Adam; Adam Walsh, and just to kill your curiosity if you have made it this far I'm fourteen. I'm an average height for my age, but not huge like you see some of those kids that are like 6’5. I guess I’m closer to 5’5, and that’s just an estimate. Who has time to measure their height, I do apparently, but not so often. I guess I will get taller eventually; but for now, I'm stuck at 5'5. Anyway, I have blue eyes, my mam once said that I could end a war with the purity that could be expressed through my sticking gaze. That remains to be seen; but then again, I don't want to experience war, that's a cruel fate. In war nobody wins, you will be hunted down like a dog for no for no good reason. Didn't some guy say that it's like a quote I think, I know I've read it somewhere. But just like always, my brain takes in the less important information.
I have chores to do today, ugh the effort. It’s like a punishment from all the adults, they try and come at us from all sides, they tell us we have to go to school and they tell us we have to do chores. There’s even a confinement on who I can hang out with and what time I have to be home at. Adults should be grateful I'm cleaning up after them, and every time I hear an old person brag about how my generation is off the rails, I roll my eyes. I had problems getting out of bed to write this, it's early so if you're still reading you should be appreciative. Okay I know I'm getting cheeky; I like it, is that weird, my friend Carl said that to me the other day; that I'm getting really sarcastic. Who wants to get out of bed on summer vacation, can you blame me? Okay well, I think I dragged this out long enough I need to get a shower and get dressed so that I can start my day. Emm Effort – Adam
3rd May 1991: Part 2
Two entries in the one day, I’m on a role. After I got out of bed I had my shower and sort of spent a little extra time in their more than usual. I mean a boy has needs if you get my drift. How can you say no, I sure cant? Once it gets hard you just gotta do it for the good feelings. I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular and I don’t know exactly why I got horny, it just happened. I did kinda get all the stuff on the tiled wall, so I had to clean up before I could get out of the shower. It would be so embarrassing if I missed anything.
After breakfast, I did the usual and fed the chickens, and completed some yard work for dad. The temperature was really rising I mean it was getting hot. I would have loved to have been swimming with the lads down by the lake. Well, there are two things that were good about swimming, I mean who doesn't like swimming in warm weather. There was also the plus of getting to see some my friends in nothing but their boxers or swimwear. Most of the times we went swimming it was just on the spur of the moment sort of deal, so that meant we went with what we had on us and shed layers of clothing by the bank. It was fun and exciting at the same time.
I think you just automatically check out other boys for no reason. It is almost like a subconscious thing to do and compare with each other. Most times when I look through it's just to see if I’m at the same level as them in puberty. I couldn’t help myself today or any days in particular other than comparing how toned my stomach is or how big their bum as gotten. Sometimes I even had weird thoughts about what their dick might look like.
Anyway, after I fed the chickens dad came by with a tin of paint and a brush. I was given the mundane task of painting our perimeter fence. I didn’t bother trying to protest because I knew that I was not going to get off easy. I mean my parents are not the type of people that would let you just sit around and do nothing. During lunch, I went to cool off indoors and my friend Carl popped by, which was a new lease of life and actually asked did I want to go swimming. I practically begged my mam to let me go and it was actually dad that said I could go, which kinda surprised me. I shouldn't really complain, my parents, where cool enough, they just didn't believe in wasting time. Apart from that, I was actually going to do what I was thinking about earlier that day. I was going swimming! I mean It's a no-brainer, of course, I was going to look at the eye candy that was on offer while I had the chance, but I thought that today couldn't get any better. Just me and my friends down by the lake. In all, there were four of us. Carl, which if you haven't read my other five journals you will have no idea who the hell Carl is. Carl was probably my closest friend. I remember the first time I met him, we had had a dispute over who owned what section of land. You see when we younger there were two small gangs that used to hang out down by the creak. I belonged to one gang and Carl was, well belonged to the other. After he had hit me one day with a metal pipe in the arm. I went home crying to my mam and she marched down the street to Carls mother to sort it out. It turns that Carl was grounded and to this day I still feel bad for having ratted him out. Carl has a good personality though, he’s loyal and well, to say the least firm. Once he’d made up his mind about a particular subject or issue, there was no way you could change his viewpoint. He is also a looker, with jet black and a nice year-round tan you could easily mistake him for having Italian blood in his bones.
Eli was there, he was standing knee deep in water when I arrived at the bank. I guess the both us where still on rough edges because everything tasted sour until the banter and craic started and everyone lightened up. The day was pretty good actually when I and Eli moved past our bickering. There was also Conor, he was a friend of Eli's, the both of us talked a bit and he was pretty sound, for the most part, also he was fucking hot. His blond hair, blue eyes, and slim figure, OMG I had to retain myself from jumping him and making out.
Lastly, there was Thomas. He was more of a tagalong sort of guy, he wasn’t a main part of the group be he was still fun to be around. With all that said they were my main friends, I didn't really socialize with many other people other than them. In the afternoon, we lay under the sun in our wet underwear to kinda dry ourselves, but grass gravel has a habit of sticking to your skin. Especially when if it was recently cut. I think the parks department maintains some of the grass around this area since it was close to the shoreline and the small jetty for the lake which sees a couple of the towns residents during the summers months for picnics. The location where we hung hang was about a two-minute walk from that park, and the janitors probably dumped their grass here from the lawnmowers.
Once we dried a small bit, we got dressed, I was a little disappointed about it of course but I guess that meant candy. 9 times out of 10, when we went swimming Carl would buy a large pick ‘n’ mix that we all could share, of course not everyone wants to share and that leads to a couple of sulking faces, I guess they just gotta learn that life does not revolve around them. Okay well, I guess that's all; I can’t really think of anything else to say. I'm going to listen to my Walkman for a little while, then go to bed. Night… - Adam
3rd May 1991: Part 3
Okay I know I’ve written more than usual today, but I thought this was kinda strange so I had to write it before I would forget about it. The time is 12:02 am and my next-door neighbors are like awake… There like old and stuff I mean the Wilsons are nice but they are never awake at this hour. I thought they were asleep already as they usually have lights out at ten o’ clock but it surprised me when they pulled into the drive and made a loud ruckus while vacating their car in the driveway. I guess I would be in a rush and not care about making noise if the heavens were opened and pissing down on me. The rain was like nothing I had ever seen before. But that’s not what got my attention. I saw Mrs. Wilson scramble as fast as she could from the car when I heard the slamming of another door. I wasn’t listening to music so I heard the thud, my headphone where now around my neck. When I got to the window I saw Mr. Wilson at the boot of the car and he was taking luggage from the vehicle. I had an entire view of the Wilsons yard. That’s when I saw a figure possibly about my height, a rather thin figure run from the house back to the car where Mr. Wilson was, the slender silhouette looked like a boy about my age. I couldn’t make out all that much detail but I was curious about the situation. The small blob of person took a suitcase from the older gentleman and ran back towards the house and then ran back out to the car. He was little noisy but his voice sounded youthful to say least. Mr. Wilson was obviously trying to get him go back towards the house before they got anymore wet and they did but I felt a little sad after all that anticipation and build up, just for it to be cut off without a conclusion. I had never someone a kid. I mean a boy next door before and it suddenly felt weird. Anyway, I thought that it was worth mentioning, if not… sorry for wasting your time or my music session. Maybe I might find out who it is tomorrow. I guess… Anyway, goodnight for real this time… I’m going indulge in some dirty thoughts - Adam
The End Of Part 1
“In modern war... you will die like a dog for no good reason.” Ernest Hemingway
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