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A Case Of Jitters - Part 2/3
By D.K. Daniels
Andrew is so dreamy; what with his gorgeous, close-set of lush chestnut eyes. He is the pinnacle of male beauty. Even though now he is dressed up because of the dance or is it because of our date. I can't help but stare at him in awe. It's those eyes of his that made me fall for him in the first place, combine that with his virtually, white unscathed teeth, which have an adorable set of train track braces on both the upper and lower layer. Numerous times have I glanced across the classroom and caught sight of him smiling with the small, close select group of friends he has.
His face, a chiseled Greek god, and his heart-wrenching dimples when he cracks a smile is knee crippling. Sigh… Andrew is perfection. His lips, soft rosebuds begging for me to kiss them, and his twinkling, shy demeanor adds to the bashfulness he exhibits when talking to people he is not familiar with. His button nose, coupled with his soft eyelash’s and old school Justin Bieber hairdo would make him any girls dream boy. His neatly presented hair, encircles his face snuggly, offering a little flair with flays of fines hair brushing down onto his soft cheekbones, with an addition of small bangs at the back of his neck. Andrews fair complexation on Monday mornings is my sunshine on cloudy dull days beneath the classroom lights. Anytime I watch him sit on a stool in science; I wish for the life of me that he would sit up straight. His lean, bony stature is pleasing to the eyes, and when he roll's his sleeves up to his elbows while intently reading or concentrating is extraordinary to see. Mainly because most boys our ages are off squandering their time, furthermore I'm guilty of such a thing, but not Andrew, he works, and that’s why he is intelligent.
Tonight, his fashion has shot off the cuteness scale and straight up onto the hotness one. Beneath his black, lightweight bomber jacket. The Egyptian blue, separated by black vertical and horizontal lines make his Tommy Hilfiger Gingham shirt appeasing. It makes me want to see him shirtless to state the oblivious. ‘At least he’s not cheap,’ I ponder. I have never gotten that vibe from Andrew. He seems to take care and pride in his appearance. I can assume that much can right… I admire his efforts. The sex appeal, however, has been amplified by a pair of beige, cotton khakis. Woof… is all my mind is flooding with at present by the outline of his slender build.
Reverting my attention from left, to the right, I scope out to see if the area is safe. Imagine how this would look. I want to make an impression. Next year I will be a proper freshman, and that means I have to work extra hard to make the football team, therefore being seen with a distinguished gay guy is dangerous for future reputation. I'm not prejudiced; I think I am that way too, except I not ready for such a big step. I’m still finding myself among all the noise of high school.
Shuffling quietly beside Andrew, the both of us merged into the east wing of the building and hit traffic of students who stood taking group photos and conversing animatedly. I grew nervous instantly and considering I knew a few of them to see I froze on the spot beside Andrew. I grasp it's a shameful thing to do. Invite a boy out and then because of what others might say and my friends will think, that I am tip-toeing around here in secret. Which reminds me that I said I would check in with Sophia as I told her.
Andrew carried on, not noticing that I hung behind until he glanced over to see that I was not alongside him. It's funny as we began walking we hadn't ushered a word to each other. Am I that nervous? I feel I don't know like I am open to all comments that the world could throw at me. It's amusing knowing that I am on a date when everyone else outside of school will think that I am his friend. It somehow makes me ache to go out with him even more at the fact that I can rub it in all those absent-minded people's faces who have no clue.
Glancing over his shoulder, Andrew peered back at me and stopped shyly. Running his fingers across his forearm, he slowly made his way back to me; he is apparently embarrassed. Andrew is rather cute when you make him blush, although it wasn't in my intention to make him get all shy and bashful. Some weird choppy sensations are going on in my stomach that I have never felt it before. It feels like what I'd imagine an erupting soda can would be inside your tummy after you give it a vigorous shaking. Then again, it's not every day you make Andrew Collin's blush, only on the other note what did I do to make him react that way… oh, right I invited him on a date and then halted all of a sudden. I reckon I would be the same way if I had made all the arrangements, and more importantly how cute he looks. You can tell that he made an effort to dress up, and that's all for me.
Stopping short, omitting a small gap between the both of us Andrew inquired nervously, "is everything alright."
Mounting his hand to his elbow, he began to cradle it.
Is that what he does when he’s nervous? I haven’t seen much of him doing that in school so it must be a new thing. Affirming what I had to say in my wreak of a brain, I nodded.
“Everything’s okay…” I mumbled.
I then thought about it for a second and then I realized I had lied to him and I didn't aspire to start such succession, so alternatively I'll take a chance.
“Actually, not really…” I sighed. “Em… this is my first time, asking a boy… out.”
His facial expression shifted, he smirked a little, then the blush disappeared. Andrew glanced from me to the group of students behind us, and then he reverted to me. The thumping sounds of the DJ equipment in the hall with the school stage began to brood and seep from every crevice and open door. The sound celebrated throughout the school. The music was present when I opened the door, but since I was so nervous about getting to meet Andrew, the resonate meant nothing. The song is familiar, I've played it many times on Spotify. Shawn Mendes - In My Blood, it’s at the chorus, that’s the reason I can probably hear it.
Incredible, those eyes of Andrew are staring back at me now. He seems to be rooted in thought. And all I can come to notice is how beautiful his eyes are and how kissable his lips look. I wouldn’t do it here. There is to many people around and second that motion, I don't want anyone to know I'm gay. I wonder how that is going play out now. What if I get noticed around town with the only gay kid I recognize in school. I haven’t got the foggiest as to why I decided it was an excellent idea to do this. It's just I wanted to get to know somebody who is like me. It's hard not being able to talk to someone who is not alike. My parent’s, I don't think they will understand, not that they are evil. They are very supportive of everything I do, so I can only imagine that if I were to come out gay, then they would accept me… I think.
“You can walk ahead of me if you want; meet me at the school plaque outside the building.”
I glimpsed from him to the group teenagers, who seemed to be utterly oblivious to our presence. Besides I did say I'd dance with Sophia tonight, let's hope she doesn't hold me to that.
Deciding to take a chance, I said, “no… I’ll walk with you.”
Swallowing hard; a thirst developed in my throat. Starting again, the both of us walk side by side this time for the crowd. I am like super-super nervous right now, and my heart is gallivanting in my chest. Plus if any more of these exceptional but entirely uncontrollable feelings keep at it, I think I'll end up in a ball on the ground from either the fear of getting caught or the tingly butterflies that Andrew seems only to give me. Expect tonight they are stronger than any other time. On average I get hard, or a case of butterflies, bashful or all of the above when I talk to Andrew. At the moment all I appear to notice is a shakiness.
Thankfully nobody seems to be paying any attention to us, furthermore like that we slip by our peers without drawing any attention. It's entertaining I suppose that everybody is completely clueless as to what is going on. I needed that confidence, and ironically, I am somewhat relieved and delighted that I have not backed out… yet. Let’s hope that I can keep with it. I want Andrew to like me a little more than just a friend.
Pushing on, I side-scope using my peripheral vision to see both sides of the corridor. Nobody appears to care, and that adds security that I can't quite tell how much it means right now. Acknowledging that Andrew is walking beside me is a graceful act.
Leaving the group of 8thgraders behind, Andrew and I, channeled down the main corridor and out the front entrance of the school, passing-by new arrivals. When I get a chance, I'll let Sophia know that I'll catch up with her later in the evening. I guess I have to come back here anyway because my mom insisted that my dad is picking up afterward.
Turning onto the sidewalk, after the school plaque, I could feel myself beginning to relax a little, and I assume Andrew was experiencing the same. At least the spits of rain earlier were only a fluke. The buoyant school grounds drifted into the distance and Andrew and I, leisurely pace onward. It's unusual when you're apprehensive that beneath it all you find something to talk about with each other. Now that the fear of getting caught is behind us, the anxious feeling dissipated. Conversing freely with Andrew, the both of us began to talk about why we never affiliated with each other during school hours.
Brazenly I offered up, “well because you're gay."
Andrew chuckled at that. I wasn't intentionally trying to come off obnoxious or blunt about it, but it was the truth.
Andrew replied sarcastically, "yeah you're totally too straight for me too.”
I got a good chuckle out of that myself. Even though the two of us are a mixed match, I feel good at having taken the time out to forward that message. I've wanted to get to know Andrew for quite a long time, and now that I'm doing it and emotions I'm experiencing right now are… I'm stepping on a cloud. Is that how you contemplate about it? I'm not sure, all I know is that there is a fluttering sensation in my chest, and I confess, I think I can breathe unrestrictedly forever, and ever.
Walking the quaint, dead neighborhood, the both of us shuffled underneath the white light of the streetlights. House after house we babbled on about funny experiences throughout the year that happened in our homeroom. There is a certain mystic appeal to experiencing Andrew smile. How his eyes would lighten, the white in his eyes sparkle against a translucent neighborhood, and when the corners of his mouth draw open to a smile, my heart swam in emotions.
Eventually, we reached Joe's diner, or more commonly known as Rockin' Joes. It's not a traditional diner. It's a small restaurant. On warm days when the ice-cream deli is open I'd roam from school in the draught of heat to order the best dessert in the entire city. Perhaps when we finish our meal I could be the gentleman and possibly buy Andrew ice cream, he said milkshakes, maybe he likes milkshakes, maybe I'll buy the meal. Wait on second thought… Figuring we are both boys... Who is to pay for what we're about to eat? Do we each pay our deductible? Will that make me look cheap even though I am a little bit more comfortable with going down that path? The concept of paying the bill for Andrew doesn't seem to faze me in the slightest. However, having him pay for me seems to make me feel uncomfortable.
Pushing the door of the diner open, we huddled inside. Mosaic euphoric tiles glittered the ground in various non-ethical colors. The walls a touch of maroon, separated by beige at the mid-section of the partition. A few too many booths to count, each separated by a large window with cream Venetian blinds, currently descended, and a dim pale diamond light above the table of each enclosure.
A woman with tired eyes, a warm smile, and a motherly instinct welcomed us. She told us to take our seat's, and that should be out with the menus. Like that the both of us shimmied into a boot a little out-of-the-way from prying eyes and sat contently. The walk from school had been awesome, but somehow something has changed. Is it weird knowing that I'm here I feel like I can be myself? Although on the down low, I'm not ready to parade around just yet.
Staring across the table, the melodic melody in the background played and acted as a comfort to my ears. Here I am… sitting directly across from Andrew, on a date… I can't believe it. Am I too quiet for him, does he want me to say something more because I don't know what I am supposed to say? What do I even talk about, there is so much to talk about, except I can't for the life of me think of something interesting to discuss. Maybe when the woman comes over to give us our menus, I can start talking. I hate the sound of my voice. Therefore, perhaps I should keep my mouth shut until he talk's to me. I know that sounds ridiculous, that would be rude, sitting here for the duration of the date and not making any effort to communicate.
“Em… Jacob… do you remember that weird time in P.E. when we were playing dodgeball in 6thgrade, and you took forever hit me with the ball.”
Reverting my eyes up from the table, a chord of panic and anxiety took hold of me by the statement. ‘Oh that… how can I forget? I am still sorry about it.’
Consciously cradling my arm, I murmured, “humph… Yeah. Last person standing on the opposing team." I nervously pointed across toward Andrew at the same time, trying to make myself appear confident.
His expression changed, his eyebrows furrowed and his tone became quizzical. "How come you took so long to throw the ball in the first place?" Andrew enquired.
I can’t answer that… If he knew I liked him that long ago then he will think that I am freak. I mean, how could I possibly have thrown a ball at him. I stood there for about ten seconds or more; I don't know. I could not bring myself to hit him, but when I realized everybody in the class was looking at me, I had too. Oh God, he's staring at me intently now, hold it together Jacob don't perish to peer pressure.
“Why’ hello boys, what can I get for you strapping young men,” came a voice.
Glancing up at the source of the intrusion, a sigh of relief let loose at the sight of the waitress. Reverting my eyes to Andrew's attention, he had shifted up to the waitress. Secretly I couldn't help but admire his beauty than to stare at him. With a flicker of his eyelashes he looked over in my direction, and my motor functions gave out. I'm getting all jittery and stupid.
The woman handed us two menu’s and greeted us with another one of those warm smiles.
"Do you want something different or do you just want to get a milkshake and burger?" Andrew asked as he read the menu.
The kind lady took out a little notepad and pen and waited silently to the side for us to choose our food. Turning my attention to the menu all I could make out was a jumble of words. Even if I was interested in examining what they had to offer, all I could come to think was that a burger and a milkshake would be adequate considering I can't think for myself at the moment.
Peering up at the kind woman I offered, "I'll have a burger and strawberry milkshake."
The lovely lady beamed a smile back at me, scribbled in shorthand my order and then turned her attention to Andrew. "And what will it be for you sweetie?” the waitress enquired.
Oh, my God, the woman called Andrew sweetie. I'm sorry, but that gave the worst dose of butterflies I've ever felt. Sitting in my seat, all I want to do is flop around like a damn flappy bird.
Andrew spoke confidently and asked for the same. I suppose I should ask him what his interests are because apparently, that's what you're supposed to do on a date.
Preparing to speak my mind, Andrew blurted out, "so about dodgeball…" He pushed.
Ugh… Fuck… I should have assumed rightly that Andrew wasn't going to let that go. Is it a crime to say that I liked him that long ago and the reason I didn't want to throw the ball was that I fancied him? I don't want to appear as a fruit then again, I'm not sure if I can accurately blame myself because he was so damn pretty then, he's is a lot more handsome now.
Feeling my cheeks crimson, I began to crack a smile and revert my embarrassment toward the table. Plopping both hands on the table in front of me I glanced down at my lap. "I didn't want to hit you," I murmured.
I know I can feel his eyes sizing me up over there. Did I blow it? Did I come off too strong or stupid? A soft sensation swept across my hand, pivoting my head up I saw Andrew's hand atop mine. ‘What is he doing, in the middle of a restaurant, in front of people. Bring my eyes up to his he sincerely blushed a shade of red to his cheeks. As much as I like the human contact, I can't be seen holding the hand of another boy. Unwillingly I began to pull my hand away from under his. Plopping my hands down into my lap and part shame and regret, I sheepishly glanced at him.
A sudden clamminess presented itself, and with the fear of rejection now on the horizon, I began to wipe my sweaty palms against my knees. The two of us remain silent for a couple of seconds and occasionally crossed eyes with each other but nothing more than that.
Finally, I worked up the courage to say, " I'm sorry. Just... I’m scared shitless here. I've never done anything like this before, and well the reason I took so long to throw the ball was that I liked you then, and I still like you…"
Andrew gave a bemused snort, and said, " I assumed you wanted to say something to me for a while. Only I didn't know that it would be something like this. I confess, I wasn't even sure about meeting you tonight because I was nervous too, but I wanted to.
Now it was my turn to give a chuckle and smile. "Was it that obvious?" I asked.
Andrew glanced out the window momentarily before reverting his attention to me stating, "not totally. Though I did find it funny that any time I caught you looking at me, you'd get all shy."
Like that, I began to get shy all of a sudden at his profound honesty. The outline of the held back smile pressed against the inside of my mouth. I started twiddling my thumbs as a distraction.
“See… Like you are doing now. You'd always get that way,” Andrew noted.
“Okay… Stop before I have an overload of giggles,” I pleaded.
Andrew began to laugh at my display of words, and not long after he went into a hysteric, I joined in. I suppose the two of us looked a bit nutty from afar, but I didn't seem to mind all that much. The conversation was pleasant, and the company is profound. It feels good breaking down the barrier between the both us, and even though there is a couple of people in the diner, I feel like I can be myself at this very booth, giggling and smiling.
Eventually, the food arrived, and we scarfed it down. Andrew eats more quaintly than I. It's like he's deliberately careful not to make a slob of himself. And with the display unfolding in front of me I decided to slow down on my food too. We chatted about hobbies and interests. Andrew is a long time fan of Star Wars, and he is a big fan of The Avengers. Even his selection in movies is cute. Just listening to Andrew babble on about his interests made me feel all proud inside for making these arrangements. It's another side entirely than what I am accustomed to viewing in school. With each new thing, he is telling me I'm making a mental note. He loves Ben & Jerry's ice cream, Empower Mint. I learned his favorite actors Robert De Niro and that his favorite video game is Life Is Strange. Andrew entirely is the pinnacle dream God of Nerds. Okay, that sounded a lot harsher in my head than it initially seemed. He is not a nerd, you know one of those guys that you see with spots and glasses. No Andrew is gorgeous, just awesome, he's incredible.
With our meal concluded, I decided to excuse myself for a moment to use the restroom. Here I am again glued to a mirror, conscious about every flaw that is on display. Pulling out my phone I send a message to Sophia that I'll be back in a little bit and put it back in my pocket.
Finalizing last-minute details, also fixing my hair, freshly. I made my way back out to Andrew who sat at the table with a tub of Ben & Jerry's, Empower Mint. I opted to skip dessert and order another milkshake instead. Though I was kind of curious as to what the ice cream he was eating tasted like; I never ate that flavor beforehand, and considering well he's eating it too.
I asked in between intervals while taking a sip of my milkshake,” what does it taste like?"
Considering we had talked about nearly everything at this point. I figured it couldn't hurt to know what Andrew's favorite flavor taste's like. I imagine it will be minty considering the word mint displayed on the tub of the ice cream; hence it is the name of the flavor.
Andrew took a small spoonful, compressed his lips to the spoon to suck it clean, before plunging the scoop into the ice cream and sliding across the table to me. Looking over at him in embarrassment, I nervously reach out and wrap my fingers around the tub. Gripping the end of the spoon, I work free some ice cream and lift it to my mouth. Placing the silverware in the base of my lower lip and I dragged the clump of ice cream off the spoon. However, I couldn't help but feel special somehow considering the two of us had now shared the spoon. I know it's only a small thing but, I find it something. Indeed the flavor is minty.
Redirecting my attention to my watch, I noticed that it is nearly 9:30, and my dad would be back at 10:15 to pick me up from the dance. Hesitantly, I slid the Empower Mint back to him and suggested that when we finished that we should start heading back.
Tonight, was cool. I hope on Monday he won't think I'm weird or anything for asking him out. What if he ignores me on in school, will he do that? I hope he doesn't because I'd like to be able to approach him on a typical school day and talk to him.
Paying our meal, yeah… Andrew wouldn't allow me to pay for him, and I didn't want Andrew to pay for me. So coincidently we said we go half and half, I settled for Andrew’s meal, and he spent for my mine. Absently now while I walk along, I only see the loophole in our decision.
As we left, a cold nip cut through the thin shirt I'm wearing. As I walk, conversing with Andrew, knowing our time is coming to an end, it makes me sad to contemplate. Sauntering past Madden Park, I got the heebie-jeebies. The park in the daytime is creepy, but at night-time, it is a place that screams murderer on the loose all over it. Since I am in my own world with noticing the park and talking to Andrew, I’m starting to shiver.
Andrew stopped walking, thinking something were up, I glanced around at him. There he was taking off his jacket.
“Here… I think you're cold," he chuckled.
Andrew held the bomber jacket out to me. It is lovely of him to think of me that way, and now the butterflies in my stomach are having a field trip.
"I'm... I'm okay," I insist, with a chuckle.
Andrew continued to hold out the jacket like a gentleman. I couldn’t exactly say no any longer to him, so stepping forward, I put on his coat.
"Better?" Andrew asked after I put on the added layer.
To be honest, yes, it is. I can’t believe I was offered a coat from a cute boy and more importantly, from Andrew Collins.
Lingering under the streetlight, the both of us breathe slightly harder at the exchange.
Smiling to myself, I offer back, “better…”
The End of Part 2
There is more to come, so let me know what you think so far…
I have a selection of stories on Nifty, GayAuthors, Iomfats and CornerCafe. If you would like to read more of my content. Check out my authors tag on Nifty or visit my website to find everything you need.
My Website - www.dk-daniels.com
As always, don’t steal. Consider charity for Nifty, or if you want to join the community I’m building, pick up your hammers and nails and support me on Patreon if you can. (Links are on my website.)
Lastly, feedback is crucial, I love hearing from your guys so don’t be afraid to drop an email. You can find me at email@example.com
Again, thanks to my patrons - Cynus and Thomas.