Secrets: The Truth is Slowly Revealed

Chapter 3: Lonely and Jubilant Times

The house that Devin used to live in sat empty for several months after he and his family moved away.  When someone finally bought it and moved in, I discovered their children were all at least three years younger than me and I was devastated!  Not only had I lost my best friend, but it also appeared that none of the new occupants would be able to help to lessen my pain. 

I couldn’t count on my siblings either, because both of them were in college now.  My brother would be a senior in the fall and my sister would be a sophomore, and they both had their own friends and didn’t want their little brother hanging around.  No matter how sad and lonely I was, I couldn’t rely on either of them for companionship or compassion. 

The situation wasn’t any better at school, because I didn’t get along with any of the other students as well as I had with Devin.  I realized I would probably never be as close to any of them as I was with Devin, since I didn’t have anything in common with any of them.  I wasn’t only lonely, but I felt completely isolated in a school filled with other students, so I immersed myself in my studies.  That worked during the school year, but the summers were unbearable.  I didn’t have anyone to have sleepovers with or I could share a bed at those times, and no one to take fun showers with either.  Unfortunately, this only served to heighten the fact that I’d lost my best friend. 

In an attempt to distract myself from thinking about it, I would go on long hikes around our property, as well as that of the neighbors, since it reminded me of the summer I’d spent with Devin and his family at the cabin.  Other than that, I merely used my time postulating about whether Devin was missing me as much as I missed him or if he was handling the separation better than I was.  Maybe he wasn’t even thinking about me at all. 

When I reached high school, the situation got a little better, but I don’t mean that as you might expect.  It wasn’t as if I’d made a new friend, but I started receiving special greeting cards on my birthday and at Christmas.  In addition to the standard verse inside, each one would have a handwritten comment, such as ‘I’m still thinking about you’ or ‘I still miss you’, and they were all signed Devin.  Unfortunately, they never included anything more than that, such as a photo or a return address, so there still wasn’t any way I could contact him.  Why was he sending me these cards if he wasn’t willing to let me see what he looked like, how he was doing, or giving me a way to get in touch with him?

Even so, I actually began looking forward to these cards arriving, and I also realized that each time I would get an erection as I waited for the card to arrive.  I guess I suspected it before then, but now I was positive.  I thought of Devin as much more than just a friend.  I was secretly in love with him.

Even though the cards served as a distraction, I managed to stay focused on my studies long enough to work my way to the top of my class.  When I graduated, I was named valedictorian.  It was a great honor and my parents were thrilled by what I’d accomplished, but I would have traded it all to have had my best friend back during that time. 

I was now looking ahead to another long and lonely summer when an unfamiliar SUV pulled into our driveway.  It was the third Saturday in June and I didn’t remember my parents mentioning that they were expecting anyone, so I was curious to discover who it was and what they wanted.  I hurriedly made my way outside to sate my curiosity, and as I approached the SUV, the driver opened his door and got out.  He didn’t look up right away and kept his head bowed as he started walking toward me, which seemed a little strange. 

This confused me at first, but when he looked up I recognized him immediately.  He was older and taller now, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was Devin.  As soon as our eyes met, we began to race toward one another, and when we got close enough we wrapped our arms around each other in a tight hug.  I don’t know if Devin felt it as our bodies came into contact, but I’d popped a boner even before we’d crossed the short distance between us. 

“How the hell have you been?” I screamed.  “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too and that’s why I’m here.  My dad said I could invite you to come out to the cabin with us this year.”

“That’s great, but why did you wait until now to do this?  And why didn’t you ever include a return address when you sent me the birthday and Christmas cards:” 

“I wanted to, but my dad didn’t think it would be a good idea.  He was afraid that if we got back in touch with one another it would distract me from my studies, so he didn’t want you to be able to write back and I couldn’t invite you to join us at the cabin.  I argued with him about it, but he wouldn’t give in, so I had to be happy that he agreed to let me send you those cards.”

“I don’t understand.  I thought your dad liked me.”

“He does, and I can’t explain it all to you right now, so I’ll tell you the rest of it later.  The important thing is if you think you’ll be able to go back with me to the cabin?”

“Hell, yes!  Does this mean your family is going there at the end of June now, instead of the end of July?”

“Yeah, you might say that, but it’s mostly because there will be other things I’ll have to do after the Fourth of July.”

“I see, but I hope you’ll be able to stay here tonight while I talk this over with my parents.”

“Yes!  My dad figured that would probably happen, so my parents aren’t expecting me to arrive at the cabin until tomorrow.”

“That’s awesome, because it means we’ll get to spend tonight with each other as well.”

“Exactly and when we leave for the cabin I want to make sure you’re with me.  Ok?”

“It’s fine with me, although I’ll have to clear it with my parents first, but I’m sure they’ll agree.  In fact, I’m glad you’re doing it early this year, because I’ll be going away to college this fall and I’ll have to attend Freshman Orientation on the Monday and Tuesday after the Fourth of July celebration.”

“I’ll be going to college too, but I haven’t signed up for orientation yet.”

“What college will you be attending?”

“Colorado State.”

“No way!  That’s where I’m going.”

“I know.  That’s why I applied there.”

“Wait!  How did you know where I’d be going to college?”

“I told you before that my dad has a way of finding things out, so I applied to all the same schools that you applied to.”

“Damn, that’s great!  Um, did you know that I could have gone to an Ivy League University in the east, but my parents couldn’t really afford it?  It didn’t matter to me, though, because I wanted to go to college in Colorado, because I thought maybe I’d run into you while I was there.  We might not end up at the same college, but I thought maybe I’d run into you at one of the sporting events.”

“It didn’t matter where you went, because I would have gone there as well.”  

“You would?  I earned really good grades in high school and was named valedictorian when I graduated, so I could have gone almost anywhere.  Did you do that well too?”

“Yes, I did!  I was home schooled through 8th grade, but then I went to live with my grandfather so I could go to the high school near where he lived.” 

“Couldn’t you have just gone to high school where you and your parents lived?”

“I could have, but it would have meant riding a bus for over an hour both heading to school and returning home.  My grandfather lived close enough to the high school where he lived that I could walk back and forth.  It worked out really well because I got good grades and became valedictorian of my class as well.  I also did really well on my SATs and scored 1580.  What did you get?”

“I got 1590.  I should have scored 1600, but I got careless and made a stupid mistake.”

“I knew you did well, but I didn’t know you did better than me.”

“Yeah, I did, because after you left the only thing I had to keep me from thinking about you all the time was my schoolwork.  I thought the SAT was pretty easy, but like I said, I got careless.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t too bad for me either.”

“I wonder if maybe we can arrange to be roommates while we’re at Colorado State.”

“I don’t know, but I’ll see if my dad has any idea and can work it out for us.”

“Can he do that?  It would be great if he could.”

“Yes, like I said, he has his way of finding things out and getting stuff done.” 

“I hope he can get us assigned as roommates then.”

When we went into the house, Devin said hello to my mom.  She’d been looking out the window in the living room and watching us.   

“It’s so nice to see you again, Devin.  You’ve grown a bit since the last time I saw you, but otherwise you look the same.”

“I didn’t really grow very much, but it’s nice to see you again, Mrs. MacPherson.  You’re just as lovely as I remember.”

“Oh, I think you may need to have your eyes examined then, because it appears you must need glasses,” she replied and then giggled.  “Although it has only been seven years since you were last here, I believe I’ve aged fifteen or twenty years during that time.  So much has happened concerning my children, but that’s all behind us now.  I just wish my husband and I could have convinced Mickey to attend one of the Ivy League Colleges instead.  They were willing to offer him a scholarship to go there, but he wanted to stay in Colorado and go to college here.”

“And it worked out just like I wanted, Mom, because Devin will be going there as well.”

“Really?  So, you boys will be back together again?”

“Yes, I’ve also been accepted to attend Colorado State.”

“Then it appears that everything has worked out for you boys.  You’ll just have to make certain that you both buckle down with your studies and aren’t tempted to spend the majority of your time doing other things, like you did when you were younger.”

“Yeah, we know, and you don’t have to worry about it.  We both want to get good jobs and make enough money so we can live the way we want.”

“And also have a family?” my mom countered.

“Yeah, that too,” I responded this time.  “If you haven’t noticed, Devin, my mom is pushing me to settle down and start a family as soon as I graduate from college.  She’s been doing it since I was a junior in high school.”

“Yeah, my mom has dropped more than a few hints as well.  What is it with women and their desire to get their children married so they can have grandkids?” 

“It must be encoded in their genetic makeup and we’re the ones who suffer because of it.  She did it with my brother and sister as well, and then she started on me after what happened to them.”

“Why?  What happened to them?”

“That’s right, you probably don’t know about that.  My brother went to college at West Point and got a commission in the army.  His first posting was overseas and he was killed by a roadside bomb a few months after arriving in Afghanistan.  I was only in 7th grade at the time, but suddenly I was the only one who could carry on the family name.”

“But your sister can give your parents grandchildren, can’t she?”

“No, I’m afraid she can’t.  She was heading back to college after Christmas break during her senior year when she was killed by a drunk driver.  He was going the wrong way on the highway and she wasn’t able to avoid him, and they both died in a head-on-collision.  That was only about a year after my brother died, so it was a pretty rough time for all of us.” 

“Damn, I’m so sorry to hear about both of them, but now I understand why your mom is pushing you so hard to get married and start a family.  You’re her last hope to have grandchildren.  I don’t have any siblings, so my mom has always been totally focused on me.”

“Oh, hush up you two,” my mom replied, but I could tell she was choking back tears after she heard me tell Devin about my siblings.  “Devin’s mother and I aren’t that bad.  We just want to see you married and starting a family so we can meet our grandchildren before we die.”

“Oh, come on,” Devin groaned.  “You and my mom are both still young and neither of you are going to kick the bucket anytime soon, so you can afford to back off a little.”

“Robert and Melanie were young too,” she replied in a quivering voice.

“Ok, but Mac and I will have to graduate from college first and then land decent jobs before we’re even ready to think about that other crap.”

“It’s not crap and don’t wait too long, because I want to be young enough so I can enjoy my grandkids.”

“Ok, you’ve made your point,” I interjected, “so I’m going to take Devin up to my room for a while so we can catch up.  We’ll come down when Dad gets home from running his errands, because Devin wants to say hello to him before we eat.”

“Ok, I’ll call you when he arrives.”

Devin and I then headed up to my room and I closed the door behind us.  Once I knew the door was shut, I wrapped my arms around Devin and gave him another hug, but this time I kissed him as well.  I don’t know what made me do that, but I was mortified as soon as we broke the kiss.  Devin apparently realized this and spoke. 

“That was nice.  I know we kissed a few times when we were younger, but nothing like we just did.  This time was a lot better.”

“So, you didn’t mind?”

“No, I didn’t mind it at all.  It’s ok for friends to kiss sometimes, but I wish you would have warned me about Robert and Melanie before I stepped into it and made that comment in front of your mom.”

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t think about it when you first arrived.  I was just so damn happy to see you again that I didn’t think of anything else.  Don’t worry, though, because it’s been a while since they were killed.  I just wish you could have been around back then, because it was a really rough time for me and I had no one to turn to.”

“What about your parents?”

“They had their own grief to deal with and they were helping each other.  I guess they didn’t think the loss of Robert and Melanie hurt me as badly as it did them.  I could have really used you to help me get through that time.”

“I feel even worse about bringing that up now, because I can see how it was affecting your mom, and now I know it was hard on you too.”

“Yeah, it was difficult for both of my parents, but my mom took it the worst.  I was able to stop thinking about it when I got to high school and started concentrating on my studies.  It not only helped me to stop thinking about what happened to Robert and Melanie, but it also stopped me from thinking so much about you as well.  I’m starting to feel bad again, though, because my mom is going to have to deal with being disappointed in me.” 

“Why will she be disappointed in you?”

“Because I’m not sure I want a wife.”

“Why not, are you gay?”

I was petrified after hearing the way he’d stated his question, since he made it sound so cold.  It’s also when I realized I’d just outed myself, so now I looked at Devin very carefully as I attempted to figure out how I was going to respond.  I only hoped my answer didn’t end up destroying our recently renewed friendship. 

“Yeah, I don’t have any interest in girls.”

“I had a feeling you might be gay when I felt your erection pushing against me as we hugged when I first arrived.  I probably could get married if I had to, but I’d rather be with you.”

I was dumbfounded by his response.  “Are you gay too, or do you just mean it as friends?”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure that I’m bi, so I could go either way, but I’d rather be with you.  You can’t believe how miserable I’ve been without you around.”

“Yes, I can, because I’ve felt that way too!  It’s why I concentrated on my studies, because when I was hitting the books I didn’t have time to miss you as much.”

“You should have known it wouldn’t bother me if you were gay, after all of the things we did together in bed at night or in the shower when we were younger.  So, do you think we can be friends, maybe even boyfriends?”

“Boyfriends?”

“Yeah, it only makes sense.”

“Of course I do!  It makes me feel even happier about being with you again.”

“Me too, especially since I know you’re gay.  We can be boyfriends for now, and if we decide to do more than that later, like possibly even getting married, then I guess our moms will have to deal with it.  They’ll also have to be happy with us either adopting a child or using a surrogate to be artificially impregnated with our sperm, but that’s still a long way off.”

“Yeah, it is, but I think our moms would probably be happier if we used a surrogate, because that way our children will be related to them by blood.” 

“Yeah, you’re probably right about that, so we’ll plan on doing it that way if we decide to get married later, but we’ll still need to get through college first.”  

“Yeah, I know, so we’ll have to study really hard to ensure that we get really good grades.”

“Yes, I agree.”

When my dad arrived home, I took Devin downstairs so he could say hello to him.  My dad reacted about the same way as my mom had, except without the discussion about starting a family. 

“Devin wants me to leave with him tomorrow morning so I can spend two weeks at the cabin with him again.  Is that ok with you?”

“Of course it is.  You’re old enough to make your own decisions about what you want to do, as long as you aren’t getting into trouble.  It’s a good thing you bought those hiking boots so you could hike around here, because they’ll come in handy at the cabin.  After dinner you’ll be able to pack up everything you’ll need to take with you, but please give your mom and me a chance to chat with Devin first.  We would like to find out more about what he’s been up to, and we’d like to learn how his parents are doing as well.”

“Ok, we can do that.”

Devin chatted with my parents while we were eating supper, and then we all sat in the living room together so Devin could chat with them some more.  As soon as he’d answered all of their questions and told them everything they wanted to know, we went up to my room so we could spend a little time alone.

“I hope you didn’t mind that my parents gave you the 3rd degree,” I said once we were alone.

“No, and my parents will probably do the same thing with you.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think about that, but it’s ok.  I want them to continue liking me so they’ll be amenable to what we want to do after we graduate.”

“That was also at the back of my mind while I was chatting with your parents.  We’re definitely going to want each of them to like their new son-in-law if we decide to get married.”

I laughed.  “Talking about them liking their new son-in-law sounds strange, yet wonderful at the same time.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“Why haven’t you signed up for Freshman Orientation yet?”

“There were a couple of things that stopped me.  First of all, we don’t have internet at the cabin and I’ve been living there since I graduated.  The other reason is that I wanted to see when you were going first.”

“Ok.  I’ve already told you when I’m going, so let’s sign you up for the same session: Monday and Tuesday after the Fourth of July.”

“That will be right after I bring you back from the cabin.”

“Yeah, so if we can get you in the same session, then you can just bring some clothes with you and then we’ll leave from here.  Maybe your parents will come here at the same time so we can all celebrate the holiday together again, like we used to do.”

“Yeah, and we can mention it to them when we’re at the cabin.  If my mom and dad want to do it, then my dad and I will both have to drive here so they can drive back to the cabin afterward.  That way I can stay here after they leave and drive both of us to orientation, or do you think your parents will want to take you instead?” 

“My dad was going to take me and then drive right back here, because he couldn’t get any time off from work.”

“And then he was going to drive back there to pick you up afterward?”

“Nah, I was going to take the bus back.”

“You won’t have to do that now and I can save your dad from having to make the round trip on Sunday.”

“Yeah, I think he’ll like that.”

“I can also drive us to the campus before classes start, so your parents won’t have to do that either.” 

“Ok, then we’ll talk with them about both of those things.”

After Devin and I finished chatting about this, we went online and got Devin registered for the same Freshman Orientation session that I was in.  When we finished, we went downstairs to talk about this with my parents.  I first told my dad that Devin had offered to drive me to Freshman Orientation after we got back from the cabin, if it was all right with him. 

“That would certainly make it easier for me.” 

“And Devin said he’ll also drive me to the campus before classes start.”

“Ok, then your mom and I will drive there for Family Weekend so we can see what the campus is like and where you’re living.  It will also give us a chance to see how you’re doing.”

“Sure, that will be fine, and I think Devin’s parents will be doing the same thing.”

“And if you want,” Devin interjected, “I’ll talk to my dad and see if he’ll pick you two up on the way to campus for Family Weekend, since you’re all planning on coming up at the same time.”

“That would also be very helpful and a smart thing to do as well.  There’s no reason we should both drive there, if it isn’t necessary, and we can split the cost.  It will also give us a chance to see them again.” 

“And we were thinking about asking Devin’s mom and dad to come here and celebrate the Fourth of July with us,” I added.

“That’s a great idea, but I have a question.  If Devin is driving you back here after you spend two weeks at the cabin, and then he’ll be taking the SUV when you boys go to college, then how are his parents going to get around?   And how will they get here for the Fourth of July or be able to pick us up and take us there for Family Weekend?”

“My dad is buying a new SUV and he’s letting me have this one.”

“Ah, that’s a very generous gift.  Just do one thing for me, though, and promise that you’ll drive carefully.”

“Don’t worry, I will,” Devin readily answered.  I believe we both knew my dad’s comment had more to do with what happened to Melanie, rather than Devin’s ability as a driver.

“And I don’t want you boys driving around in the SUV all the time and forgetting about why you’re there,” my mom added.  “You have to keep your grades up.” 

“Yeah, I know.  My dad told me the same thing.”

“There’s one other thing,” my dad followed.  “Aren’t you worried that something might happen to your SUV if it’s left in a parking lot on campus?”

“Nah, I’ve got that covered too.  I’m going to lock it in the garage at the old family home in Fort Collins while we’re there.  The house is within walking distance of the campus and it’s been in our family for around 100 years, although it’s been modernized a few times.  My great-grandfather and his wife lived there when my grandfather was born, and Grandpa Jacob and my Dad both lived there when they attended Colorado State.”

“I’m surprised you don’t just want to stay there then.”

“I probably could, but I want to be with Mac and the University has a policy about all freshmen living on campus, except those commuting.  I could probably be able to get away with claiming that I live in the family home and will be commuting, but I doubt they would let Mac stay there with me.  That’s why we’re going to live on campus in a residence hall during our freshman year and try to be roommates.”

“It’s probably best that you do it that way, as long as you don’t spend all of your time goofing around like you did when you were kids,” my mom chimed in.  “We don’t want you boys to forget about why you’re there and start falling behind in your studies.” 

“Don’t worry.  We won’t,” we both agreed. 

“We want to be roommates,” I added, “because if we’re together then we won’t be spending so much time traveling back and forth from one dorm room to the other or from the dorm room to the house.”

“Ok, as long as you keep your grades up.”

After we finished talking to my parents, we said goodnight to them and then we went up to my room so I could pack up everything I’d need for the trip to the cabin.  As I was doing that, Devin made a comment. 

“Mac, have you done anything with another guy since I moved away?” 

“Uh, what do you mean?”

“You know, anything sexual.”

“No, nothing.  I was never friendly with any other guys and I was too shy to try to find out if any of them were gay.  Have you?” 

“Yeah, I started doing stuff with some girls first, and then I met a gay guy in high school and we became friends.  He taught me a few things, so maybe I can teach you about them too.”

“Ok, I trust you, so you can show me whatever you want.” 

“Then let me undress you as we do it.”

He started by taking off my shirt, and while he was doing it he kissed my neck, and then he kissed me on the lips.  It wasn’t the same as when we kissed as kids, or even when I kissed him earlier, because he told me to open my mouth slightly and then he ran he tongue over my lips and even let it dart into my mouth.  I thought this was a little strange, but I kind of enjoyed it.  In fact, I used my tongue to duel with his, and then later when he withdrew his tongue from my mouth, I ran my tongue over his lips next. 

“Now you’re getting the hang of it,” he told me. 

He then kissed his way down the center of my chest, and when he got partway down, he moved over to my nipple and began teasing it with his tongue.  That felt good as well, but then he surprised me when he began sucking on my nipple, like he was a nursing infant. 

“Hey, I’m not a girl!”

“You don’t have to be, because this can feel good for a guy as well.  Just relax and go with it.”

I did as he told me, and believe it or not, it did start to feel good.  In fact, I began to feel things that I’d never felt before and even caught myself moaning. 

“See, I told you you’d like it,” he said before moving to the other side and repeating his actions. 

Once he finished up there, he kissed his way down the center of my chest, stopping briefly to let his tongue dart in and out of my navel, and then he removed my shorts and underwear.  As soon as they were out of the way, he moved between my legs and started running his tongue over my scrotum, but he stopped occasionally to take one of my testicles into his mouth.  He would then used his tongue to move it around gently before releasing it, and then he’d do the same thing with the other one. 

“Hey, you’d better quiet down a little if you don’t want your parents to figure out what we’re doing in here,” Devin suggested. 

I didn’t realize it, but I was moaning while he was doing this and now he started to run his tongue up the side and around the head of my penis.  I can’t possibly find words to describe how good it felt, and I was just getting used to what he was doing when he lowered his head over my throbbing member and swallowed it completely.  He then started bobbing up and down on it, and I was so aroused that it didn’t take long before I was shooting my seed down his throat. 

“Devin, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to do that, but what you were doing to me felt so good that I lost control.” 

“Don’t worry.  It’s all right.  It’s not the first time I had that happen to me.” 

“So, you didn’t mind?”

“No.  It does take some time to get used to it, but I’m ok with it now.  As soon as you’re ready, I let you do the same things to me so I can see how well you were paying attention.”

“Yeah, ok.”

After taking a couple of minutes to allow my head to stop spinning and those wonderful feelings coursing through my body began to subside, I got out of bed and started to undress Devin. 

I kissed his neck first, and then I kissed his mouth again, and when I removed his shirt I was in for a surprise.  I knew I had a very smooth and hairless body, except for the hair on my head and my pubic hair, and Devin didn’t have any body hair either. 

Putting that aside, I worked my way around and down his chest, and when I reached his waist I removed his shorts and underwear as well.  Where I had a triangular pubic patch, his was more of a semicircle, and I found it quite attractive.

As I repeated the other actions that he’d performed on my groin, I discovered his penis and mine were basically the same size, so I didn’t hesitate in doing everything to him that he’d done to me.  I knew he’d done this before with another guy, so I hoped he wasn’t disappointed in how I was doing.  I say this because he took much longer to cum than I had, but I didn’t mind.  In fact, I liked the feel of his penis sliding in and out between my lips, which was one of the warnings he’d given me.  He told me to extend my lips forward so my teeth wouldn’t scrape against his dick. 

I was only partially ready when he shot into my mouth and I choked on it a briefly.  I don’t know if he produced more cum than I did, but I eventually got it under control and was able to swallow it all.  It had a slightly bitter taste, but it wasn’t too bad, and I was proud that I had managed to do this on my first try.

“I’m impressed,” Devin stated a few seconds later.  “Most first-timers spit it out – I know I did.  In fact, I immediately spit it out on Barry’s stomach, just above his pubes.”

“So that was the guy you did this with before?”  He nodded his head.  “Did you really like him?”

“Actually, every time I was with him I kept thinking of you.  I guess he must have figured it out and realized I wasn’t thinking about him when we were together. 

“Why do you say that?”

“Because the last time we did it, he asked me who Mac was when we finished.  I guess I must have said your name while he was blowing me.”

I didn’t respond, but knowing that he was apparently thinking about me sure made me feel good. 

Seeing we’d both gotten our rocks off, we put on our underwear and shorts and headed out to the bathroom to perform our nightly rituals.  After using the toilet and brushing our teeth, we stripped and took a shower together.  We washed each other and did a thorough job of it too, but we did it rather quickly after what we’d just done.  And then we headed back to my room. 

When we got there, we both changed into a clean pair of boxer briefs before climbing into bed, and then we cuddled together like we had when we were younger.  We both fell asleep rather quickly and it was a wonderful ending to this very special day.